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.'`I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with asigh.`I only took the regular course.'`What was that?' inquired Alice.`Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the MockTurtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic--Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'`I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say.`What is it?'The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise.`What! Neverheard of uglifying!' it exclaimed.`You know what to beautify is,I suppose?'`Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--prettier.'`Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what touglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions aboutit, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had youto learn?'`Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, countingoff the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern,with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an oldconger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught usDrawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'`What was THAT like?' said Alice.`Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'mtoo stiff.And the Gryphon never learnt it.'`Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classicsmaster, though.He was an old crab, HE was.'`I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `hetaught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'`So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.`And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in ahurry to change the subject.`Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine thenext, and so on.'`What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.`That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphonremarked: `because they lessen from day to day.'This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over alittle before she made her next remark.`Then the eleventh daymust have been a holiday?'`Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.`And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.`That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in avery decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.'CHAPTER XThe Lobster QuadrilleThe Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapperacross his eyes.He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but fora minute or two sobs choked his voice.`Same as if he had a bonein his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking himand punching him in the back.At last the Mock Turtle recoveredhis voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went onagain:--`You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' said Alice)--`and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--'(Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily,and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightfulthing a Lobster Quadrille is!'`No, indeed,' said Alice.`What sort of a dance is it?'`Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the sea-shore--'`Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle.`Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on;then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--'`THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.`--you advance twice--'`Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.`Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set topartners--'`--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued theGryphon.`Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'`The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.`--as far out to sea as you can--'`Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.`Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle,capering wildly about.`Change lobster's again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.`Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said theMock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures,who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, satdown again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.`It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.`Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle
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